I have seen all of the zombie movies. All of them. And not just because post apocalyptic fiction is my favorite genre, but because I'm preparing.
FOR THIS.
This weekend, a naked guy in Miami was shot by police when he refused to sop eating a homeless guy's face. They're saying it was cocaine madness (that would make an excellent band name. dibbs.), but they are clearly wrong. It's totes the beginning of the zombie apocalypse. And I'm ready.
Assuming these are Romero type zombies (slow, virus spreads by bites with a long incubation period) rather than 28 Days Later rage virus (zombies fast, virus takes effect instantly); we pretty much have to stay safe from the zombies for about 50 days; which is how long it takes a human body to decompose to the point where they'd no longer be a threat.*
My plan is boats. If the Walking Dead taught us anything (aside from the fact that an amazing premise and budget does not necessarily make for an amazing show) it's that people are as big a threat during the zombie apocalypse than the titular zombies.
So, my plan is to load up enough food, water and reading materials for sixty days, gather a crew, and go steal a boat. I've seen Pirates of the Caribbean, how hard can t be?**
As for weapons: we're going with garden machetes and cricket bats. Although the plan is to avoid battle, theres always a chance we might need to go on shore for supplies or something. I know people always say they would want a katana or a shotgun, but katanas actually suck for severing heads (thank you, google) and, come on. This isn't America. Nobody has a shotgun you can steal.
*If anyone ever investigated my google search history, I would come off as a complete psychopath.
** There is an opening in my survival team (which I have just named Team Cocaine Madness) for someone who actually knows how to sail a boat.
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