It's my birthday and I'll have all the opiate-based painkillers I want, thank you.

Rollin with my homies

If you had asked me a year ago, I would have told you I'd be spending my 21st at the Big K, doing 21 shots and embarrassing myself on the stripper pole. If you'd asked me a month ago, I would have said I would be spending it with my sister at a goat sacrificing festival in the foothills of Nepal, drinking fermented yak milk and dancing under the moon.

Unfortunately, after losing a fight with a motor vehicle I spent this momentous occasion testing the wheelchair accessibility of the eastern suburbs instead. I was all set for it to be horribly depressing, but my family rallied and it was actually fairly lovely.

This photo makes it look like I'm naked under that fur. I swear I'm not.

First off Karl took me to Scorching Bay for ice-cream-breakfast. I love this place because it's where my parents met; or as my Dad tells it, my where Mom shamelessly seduced him 

Normally I don't approve of the Hutt, but for high quality deep fried goods I make an exception. 

Then we missioned out to the Hutt to go to what is allegedly the best fish and chip shop in the greater Wellington region. Not only was the orange roughy out of this world, but they also gave us a bunch of free extra stuff because I'm such a pitiful and adorable disabled person.

 There is something seriously wrong with with fish eating vegetarians like me. We can be moved to tears by the plight of a spring lamb or a doe eyed baby veal; but fish? Fuck those guys.

Bet you've never had YOUR name spelled out in chocolate dipped strawberries, huh?

I had an awesome dinner with my family; my sister made hummus in a thousand flavors, there was even more seafood, and my mom made a coconut cake that was just ridiculously coconutty. For real.

Because my family is all over the world, most of my presents hadn't arrived- but one thing that was on time was the present thats my favorite every year: the To Frances, Love from Frances present. I had forgotten what a bizarre thing that is to do because my family are so used to it; but having Karl there (and forcing him to gift wrap it due to my lack of motor skills) reminded me, once again, that I'm sort of weird.

I will possibly have to wait a while before wearing these babies-

They'll be a little hard to balance in with a broken ankle and pelvis. On the plus side though; at least I won't get blisters if I'm cruising around in a wheelchair all day.

xx

p.s. Isn't this a refreshingly non-depressing blog post for a change? Stay tuned for Cow of the Week: Homegrown Edition!