Neither a borrower nor a lender be

In the lead up to departing for India, I’ve been trying to tie up loose ends. Sort out my papers for next trimester, cancel my subscriptions, return all my library books- that kind of thing. And I’ve also been trying to sort out debt- both when it comes to things owing, and things owed to me. I even paid all my various video store fees around town*!

I decided to finally get my flatmate-from-hell (As seen in this post) to pay me back for the corset she ripped and the alcohol she stole, totaling $75**. I started off months ago with a friendly, passive-aggressive note on her door covered in smiley faces reminding her she promised to pay this week; and I’ve followed up again and again through facebook and texts- about half the time she ignores me; and the other half she promises to pay me back next week, or the week after or just whenever she has the money and inclination. Which I suspect will be never.

It’s now culminated in the facebook argument of the century in which I informed her she had until Monday to propose a payment plan or I would pass the matter on to my solicitor***; and her responding with stuff like ‘you want to see what happens if it gets personal’ and ‘you just expect things!’****

The worst thing about this process is how awful I’ve felt sending these texts and emails. I feel like a greedy, nasty, nagging unkind person- and I hate it. I don’t think I should feel bad- it was kind of me to do the lending in the first place; and she’s the one that’s been dishonest and taken advantage of me; but I still can’t shake the unhappy feeling that comes with having to make demands on someone- even someone I don’t like.

I’ve also got a whole other thing going on with a girl who borrowed my dress about a year ago and keeps forgetting to give it back and now seems to be super angry with me- and the whole thing is just one big depressing mess that's making me sad.

I don’t think I’m going to see my money or my dress again, but I guess I can chalk it up to experience and make a policy never to lend cash or items to anyone. But fuck having to pay so much for a moral lesson, I’m sure there’s an episode of the Facts of Life that could have taught it to me cheaper!

xx

*I’ve moved house so often in the last four years that I have about six different video memberships- and fines at each one.

** I know it doesn’t seem like a lot, but I’m a student- so it’s a lot to me. And it’s 2,747 rupees!

*** I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but my dad is the coolest.

**** Yeah…I totally do expect things, bro. I expect you to pay me back for the stuff you stole and broke.

Post script: When I mentioned to a friend I was writing this, he gasped and said ‘Aren’t you worried she’ll read it?’ No. No, I’m really not. In fact, I’d love it if she did. And then she should read this post, too. And maybe this one.